I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
