2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
