Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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