i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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