When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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