I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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