I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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