He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
