I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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