my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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