The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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