He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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