You're so nebulous sometimes
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so explain again why im purple
no
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
