Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
