Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
