You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
