the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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