You really coming over, don't trick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
