This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
