people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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