Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
