no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
