wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize