I'm really into asian looking animals
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
