So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
