bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They took my balls.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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