I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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