It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
