You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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