is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
