In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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