we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize