just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
