Did you just see the Batmobile???
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
