Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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