drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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