gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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