it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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