It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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