I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
