Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
