Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?