THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
