Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have fence marks all over my body
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.