My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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