You made me cry and you don't even care
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
