it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
