the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
