did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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