his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
