Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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