dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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