We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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