Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
