The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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