nut hugger
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
