u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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