I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
