Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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