Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
