shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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