Your mouth is God's brothel.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize