I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
