Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
