On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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