I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
