dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
